Hollowed Remus Lupin
by DarlingImaWriter
Summary: Librina Halle has lived an unusual life of bouncing from house to house growing up. Her mother dead and her father off Merlin knows where has left her with relative after relative, all giving up on the little girl. Now a teenager the witch must deal with her the pressure to perform and the curious gaze of one Remus Lupin.
1. ACT ONE

"How can you be so sure you know me, when we've both

been acting this entire time?"

 _Librina was an overachiever, an actress, A drama queen and most importantly, unknown. Now don't get confused with her being unknown as in no one knew her name, no they all knew her name, her face and her story. But they didn't truly know her, and to be quite honest, Librina Halle didn't even know herself._

This is the act where everything goes _right_ _._


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

 _ **The art of Acting**_

* * *

There are roughly three different homes that Librina Halle grew up in from the first week she was born all the way to her eleventh birthday. Three different homes, filled with different rules, layouts, and people. She never got too comfortable with her surroundings after she was abruptly moved in the middle of the night at six. By the time she was sixteen, it went from three to four to five _and_ six, just about after every year of school ended she'd be shipped off to a new relative or family friend who was just as weird and crazy as the last.

After her fourth move, she ran out of family members to stay with, having to resort to seeking shelter with her deceased mother's friends which weren't nearly as fun as riding on her uncle Jamie's back or having her Aunt Amelie take the young girl to work with her. But alas, they all either died or began to have kids of their own and had no time for a troublesome young girl, especially once she hit puberty and began to become an even bigger problem.

Librina can list off the oddest experiences off the top of her head, the one time a year her family escorts her to her mother's grave (it's still weird for her to pretend to mourn over someone she never knew) or when she awoke one morning to one of her aunt purposefully burning down the house simply to piss off her cheating husband. But the strangest of occurrences kept happening every time she stepped foot into Cygnus and Druella Black's home with her trunk in tow and the house elf's racing around to keep the palace spotless.

There were short instances in her life that she truly felt at home in a place, her uncle Jamie's beachside cottage to this day remained the one place Librina could think of when someone even brought up the word home. But never once did the Black's South Kensington townhouse feel like one. It felt like the place sane people went to drown, the spotless white marble floors reflecting the black paneled walls and the large crystal chandeliers with their floating wax candles.

One might stop to think it could be featured in one of those muggle magazines, but then you'd look really hard and see that the house elf's running the townhouse would be beaten, bruises littering their skin and every bone in their body prominent due to lack of food. You'd see the haunting family portrait that lacked emotion and left goosebumps on your arms. Perhaps you'd see every little crack in the perfectly manicured facade that was Cygnus and Druella's home, or perhaps you'd see the girl that was usually situated in the tiny attic bedroom despite there being plenty of vacant rooms downstairs, the one who hid muggle books and records under her bed and had to tip her head a bit downwards whenever she stood to her full height in the room.

It was the day before she was to return to school and Librina had her entire trunk already packed up, fully prepared to leave the townhouse once more and see her friends. She was practically counting down the hours and wanted nothing more than to lay in her bed back in Hogwarts while her best friend Carmondy ranted on about how her dads burnt the Christmas ham again.

The floor length mirror in Librina's room had photographs stuck into the corners of it and a Christmas garland she stole from the tree hung over the top of the gold framed mirror. She stood in front of the mirror with a critical look in her gaze, her hands smoothing down the skirt of her maroon holiday dress. It made her look beautiful but in an understated kind of way. She had used an elixir she had bought from a shop in Diagon Alley that kept her hair from frizzing and make it look silky soft, causing her to bring a hand up to run over her curled locks once more just to double check.

In this house, everything had to seem perfect. She had learned that within the first few months of her living there that there was no room for imperfection and even a smudge of such would be eliminated immediately. Her first few months were hard for her, the house was chaotic due to Narcissa's wedding to Lucius Malfoy and had caused for extra stress to be put upon Druella, meaning that poor fifteen-year-old Librina was the one constantly being yelled at. She felt as if she so much as breathed Druella would scream at her being all wrong.

On her dresser the alarm clock that was situated between a vase full of dead flowers and a cigar box full of letters and photographs struck 6:30 which caused the young girl to rush out of her room, the sound of her heels smacking against the small creaky staircase that led to the attic bounced off the walls and oozed into the hallway in front of her.

The second her mary janes touched the marble floor Librina went from looking like a mix between a crazed animal and a stressed-out student during exams to elegance and indifference. Her expression that once held panic now held nothing, her lips pursed and her shoulders straight, Librina navigated her way down the winding halls of the second floor to the South Kensington townhouse as she adjusted the skirt of her dress once more and finally descended the last set of stairs. Orion, Walburga, and Regulus Black filled the foyer as the house elf's worked on getting off their coats for them, Druella was greeting them all with a forced smile and with a quiet huff Librina stepped away from the staircase, her gaze flitting between the four in the room.

"Hello" Librina greets them with her award-winning smile, her hands clasped in front of her. Druella nods in approval at her actions as she'd usher Orion and Walburga to the sitting room, leaving the two teenagers to themselves. She almost breathes out a relieved sigh but catches herself as her gaze shifts over to Regulus. "Regulus."

"Librina" he offers her that same perfected smile that everyone in Slytherin has, a hint of mischief swirling around. "I see your still making grand entrances as always, tell me, were you born with your flair for dramatics or did you get it over the years?"

"I'll have you know all of the Halle's are dramatic, we are French after all" Librina jests, a grin making its way across her features. Her short time living with Walburga and Orion before moving in with Druella and Cygnus led her to grow close with the two Black brothers. She had already been close to Regulus due to being in the same house but after truly getting to know Sirius during those long months in that hell hole she learned a lot about the black sheep of the family. The biggest thing she learned is just how well the two got along, and that he wasn't as big of a prick as everyone in school made him out to be. "Where's Sirius, he's usually outdoing me with his own dramatics."

Librina's glances around the foyer, her brows furrowed in confusion. Regulus sighs, his once lighthearted demeanor shifting to a relatively tense one. Regulus still seemed to have a hard time to pretend to be unaffected at things like everyone else in Slytherin had quickly learned.

"He left, mum disowned him. I bet he's at one of those filthy blood-traitors houses right now" Regulus' words spilled out of his mouth with such fake distaste that Librina almost wanted to hug him, knowing he was probably hurting inside, but alas that would make them both seem weak, and the judgemental Black's were just a room over.

"Oh" was all Librina could say, trying to keep from showing how concerned she was for her dear friend. "How horrifying, I can't believe you had to spend Christmas with such an awful atmosphere."

And that was that was said about that subject.

* * *

 _I heard_ was all Librina wrote, giving the small note to her owl Honey, the note addressed to one Sirius Black. Honey flew off into the night, allowing Librina to finally shut the small circular window in her bedroom, the cold air being cut off from entering once more. Librina had ditched her dress for an oversized pullover and fuzzy pajama pants. She usually wore silky sets of pajamas back at hogwarts to keep up appearances amongst her roommates but she much preferred the simplicity of her uncle's old Quidditch sweater. Libby was utterly thankful to once more be in her room and away from everyone else, her shoulders were slouched and any trace of makeup from before had been removed.

Dinner had come and gone with a tense atmosphere, everyone wore their perfectly manicured smiles and droned on about everything that didn't really matter. Walburga dragged her own son's name through the mud, causing Librina to list off all the profanities she'd love to spew at Walburga in her head. What kind of mother just does that?Librina didn't have much experience with sane mothers but they had to exist, right? The bad mouthing of Sirius had made Librina uneasy and unfortunately the dinner just kept getting worse, thankfully the food was delicious. Libby reminded herself to thank the house elf's as she always did after a night with the other Black family.

At one point, Walburga had commented on how beautiful Librina was looking, and she had looked over to Regulus who meekly agreed with her. When did the Black's do that? It irked her but she simply pushed it aside as the same odd behavior the entire family displayed. Then Druella mentioned how well Librina was doing in _Potions_ to which Walburga bragged about Regulus doing well in _Defense Against the Dark Arts._ Libby tried not to overthink the situation, but it had her relatively uncomfortable and she had quickly resorted to simply drinking water anytime they began to talk to her, in order to stall a response and save her time to internally react to all the weird comments and bragging.

Ten minutes later Honey returned, a new note tied to her leg as her peak pecked against the glass, causing Librina to mark the page in her muggle book and open the window, allowing the gray owl inside.

 _Heard what? You'll need to be more specific 'Bina._ The nickname had Librina rolling her eyes, Sirius had taken a liking to the awful nickname and had been calling her it since she had stayed with them all those years ago. It stuck, Libby hated it with all her might. Libby handed Honey a small piece of her lemon cake before grabbing her quill and a piece of paper, going to quickly write in her neat handwriting her reply.

 _That you left the witches den. Stop calling me that, it's utterly humiliating and rather childish._ Honey returned minutes later with his reply, his handwriting far more messy yet still somehow neat enough to read. He probably was writing as fast he could.

 _Oh, well it was bound to happen eventually, I couldn't stand it anymore truthfully. Also, I'll teach your kids and husband to call you 'Bina one day. Watch me._

Asshole. Librina wrote out her response, giving Honey another piece of the cake as a reward, her book forgotten and the record player playing a muggle record. Druella and Cygnus slept on the other side of the house, they wouldn't hear anything from her room, not even an explosion.

 _I understand it was really weird tonight without you... And don't worry, I'll make sure to teach your kids and wife to call you big ugly moron. Watch me._

Honey came back faster with the next one, catching Librina mid face stuffing. At this point, she had welcomed the cold and left the window open for the owl to fly to and fro faster. Libby gave Honey the last piece as she read the awfully short reply from Sirius. _Hurtful._

Librina went to sleep after that


	3. Chapter Two

_**Stolen Chocolate**_ _**& Train rides**_

 _ **LIBBY WOULDN'T DESCRIBE**_ herself as a lonely person. Sure, she was alone quite a bit but that didn't make her lonely. She's learned in her short sixteen years of life to rely solely on herself to get the job done, to entertain herself and to only truly trust herself. It's just easier that way, feelings don't get hurt, betrayals aren't made and the only person you can end up disappointed in is yourself. Those things shouldn't make her lonely, they really don't.

That being said, Libby does pride herself on having achieved gaining one true friend with her time at Hogwarts. In Slytherin, while all weren't bad, many were bigoted and cruel, which Libby might pretend to like them all, but she _really didn't_. Her friend, a person she relied on sometimes was Carmondy Helfire, a feisty Ravenclaw with corkscrew curls and a mischievous smirk that caused Professors to groan. Carmondy was many things, great at making innuendos and puns, smart, and loud. But the most important thing was that she was a great secret keeper, she knew the real Libby like the back of her hand and never told a soul about it.

It was four hours into the grueling ride back to Hogwarts, Libby was laying across one side of the cabin, her legs pressed against the wall behind her and her head dangerously close to tipping upside down. With a chocolate frog in one hand and a loose grip on a novel in the other, Libby animatedly talked to her best friend, waving both objects around as she spoke.

"I swear! Bellatrix somehow gained weight since the last time I saw her, she was extremely fat and I know for a fact that she is not pregnant, so stop giving me that look Car" Libby said Bellatix's named with a hushed voice, not wanting any passing student to hear who she was shit talking.

"She's totally pregnant, her husband finally stuck the land," Carmondy says through a mouthful of pumpkin pastry. Carmondy would have her legs tucked underneath her, having already changed into her uniform. The crafty girl would be using her robe as a blanket, which might have been a mistake due to the many crumbs and food smudges littering the back of it now.

"There's a clear difference between pregnant and fat. She's just getting fat," Libby said.

"Maybe she's stress eating," Carmondy shrugged, going to wipe her hands on her robe. "You said her husband was a prick, didn't you?"

"Yeah, Cygnus and Druella love him though, they practically shoved the ring onto Bellatrix's finger themselves," Libby frowned. She hopes that she never has to endure an arranged marriage. The young witch doesn't even know if she wants to get married one day, and if so it better be for fucking love. "Besides, I think Rodolphus is gay."

"With that families luck, he so is," Carmondy snorts. One of the things most people know about Carmondy Helfire is that she has two very gay dads. Both wizards and both being Ravenclaws themselves. They were two very sweet people who couldn't cook for shit and seemed to get a new gray hair every time Carmondy informed them of her school shenanigans.

"Well, as riveting as it is to discuss the latest in the Black family drama, I'm going to go and get changed, I suggest you grab a new robe from your trunk because that one is disgusting," Libby says, pointing to Carmondy's robe, now dusted with powdered sugar. Libby shoved the rest of her chocolate frog into her mouth, setting the book beside her and swinging her legs away from the wall and onto the floor. She grabs her folded clothes and stands, going to exit the cabin in search of a bathroom.

Libby narrowly misses seeing Carmondy give her a rather suggestive gesture, she quickly returns it with a stuck out tongue before closing the door and composing herself in the hallway of the train, going off in search of a bathroom. After shoving her arms into the wrong holes twice and bumping into two Slytherin girls in her year, Libby began to make her way back to the cabin. She was mid-tucking her shirt into her skirt when a door opened and she's abruptly pulled inside. Libby lets out a squeak like scream, a hand going to cover her mouth to muffle the dying cat-like sound.

In front of her stood, one Sirius Black with the biggest shit eating grin on his face that Libby has ever witnessed. Sirius lowers his hand, stepping away from her, allowing her to see the cabin full of his friends. James droning on about how Lily looked at the platform to Peter, Remus tucked in a corner with a book in hand a bag of chocolate beside him. Her gaze shifts back to Sirius, going to smack his chest.

"What the fuck, Sirius!" Libby scowls, going to cross her arms over her chest.

"You're asking me what the fuck? I should be asking you that after you made that ungodly sound, little miss perfect does have a flaw." Sirius's grin only widened, Libby's scowl deepens. She plopped down onto the nearest empty spot beside her, next to Remus as she'd glare at Sirius. Honestly, her glare and anger were halfhearted. Sirius pulled shit like this often, so she should have expected it.

"Is that the kind of noise you make in bed? I feel bad for your future husband" James grins, looking away from Peter for a second. Libby grabs a piece of chocolate from Remus' bag, ignoring the teenager's protest as she throws it at James. He catches it within his mouth, earning an applause from Peter and Sirius.

"Like you know what noises a girl makes in bed, hows Lily by the way? Still ignoring you?" Libby smirks at the ooh's produced by the other boys in the cabin while James huffs. Sirius, laughing at Libby's words, goes to sit down on the other side of the cabin, leaving Libby and Remus to one side by themselves.

"How was New Year's dinner?" Sirius asked Libby, Remus looks up from his book, bookmarking it and closing it. James continues to grumble about Libby's burn while Libby herself sighs, uncrossing her arms and dropping her hands into her lap.

"Boring, Christmas was even worse though, Bellatrix and Narcissa visited. Oh, Bellatrix got fat" Libby says, going to take another chocolate from Remus' bag and plopping it in her mouth. Remus didn't try to stop her this time. Sirius laughs, grinning at his families despair, Libby couldn't blame him, they suck.

"Probably stress eating from having a husband that doesn't even play for her team," Sirius says, causing the cabin to laugh, Libby grins. She raises her hands up, nodding vigorously.

"That's what I said! Well Carmondy said the first part and I said the whole gay bit, there's no way he's not. Gay people are cool and everything but he looks like Bellatrix is the grossest thing he's ever dealt with, besides he has some school friend of his staying with them right now. I bet you five galleons he's his lover."

"Rodolphus can't be that dumb, I'll take your bet," Sirius says.

"He married your cousin, I'd say he's as dumb as a brick" Libby goes to take another chocolate, by this point Remus seems to know there won't be many left for him once she's left. James quirks a brow at her actions, unbeknownst to the young witch. Remus looks back down at his book to avoid James' gaze.

"I'm holding out hope that he's smart enough to win me those five galleons, I could use some candy from honeydukes next time I go into hogsme-" The door swings flies open, interrupting Sirius as Carmondy storms inside, hands on her hips. She'd look around the cabin for Libby, once spotting her the feisty witch would walk over, grabbing Libby by the arm and pulling her up.

"You left me alone, leaving me vulnerable to conversations with the trolley lady, I stressed out and bought the rest of her pumpkin pastries. Do you know how much money that is? I don't have any for my next hogsmead trip, I ate three while I waited on you, I'm gonna puke at dinner and it's your fault because you left me alone for too long!" Carmondy rambles on, successfully pulling Libby up. Libby quickly grabs one last piece of chocolate, causing Peter and James to smirk, looking over at Remus as they do.

"It was Sirius' fault! He pulled me in here and was holding me, hostage, I couldn't leave Car, he would have hexed me!" Libby lies. Sirius's eyes widen at the accusation as Carmondy lets go of Libby, turning to Sirius.

"I bet you look nice with pink hair, maybe even neon green," Carmondy's smirk said it all. Libby tries to hide her smile, going to shove the piece of chocolate into her mouth.

"She's lying! She stopped in to steal Remus' chocolates and damage James' ego, I would never touch a lady," Sirius exclaims. The whole cabin practically snorts at his last comment. Libby begins to step more and more out of the cabin, seeming ready to run if Carmondy turns against her once more.

"My sweet Libby would never," Carmondy says, placing a hand on her heart. Libby nods from behind Carmondy, deciding it best not to speak as she licks her fingers to get rid of any chocolate left on them.

"You've got one delusional friend, 'Bina," Sirius says. Libby's eyes widen, Carmondy's face hardens, James looks like he's on the verge of peeing himself he's laughing so hard.

"You fucked up" is all Libby says as Carmondy storms back into the cabin and begins to attack Sirius. It's all fun and games, she's not putting her force into the hits and Sirius is laughing off the attack as he tries to push her away.

She walks back into the cabin, plopping down beside Remus once more as Carmondy continues to hit Sirius. Remus offers her a piece of chocolate, Libby gives him an appreciative smile. Remus opens his book up once more, trying to hide the blush flaming across his cheeks.

 _ **THE REST OF**_ the ride was relatively uneventful. Carmondy gave up on hitting Sirius and eventually dragged Libby back to their cabin, claiming she wanted one last pumpkin pastry before the train stopped. Carmondy changed robes and Libby stole a pumpkin pastry from her before they both departed the train and went separate ways, Libby merging into the crowd of Slytherin's and Carmondy with her Ravenclaw friends.

The castle, as always, was exactly the same. Not a painting out of place or a ghost gone, the bloody baron floats over the Slytherin table as everyone finds their spot. Libby takes a seat towards the end, closest to the door so that she can easily get to her room once dinner is done. Severus Snape walks by her with his cronies, paying Libby no mind as she began to shovel food onto her plate.

Thinking she's escaped having to listen to someone drone on about their winter holidays she sat in contempt. As Libby began to bring her spoon to her mouth, Regulus and his friends sat around her, Regulus next to her and the others on the other side of the table. Normally Libby wouldn't mind Regulus's company, but she hasn't had anything to eat besides chocolate and pumpkin pastries all day long and if she doesn't get at least four spoonfuls of the stew on her spoon into her mouth, she might just scream.

"I didn't see you on the train or platform," Regulus says. He grabs a buttered bread roll and some stew for himself, side-eyeing Libby as she begins to eat. Gone was the relaxed demeanor she had on the train and back is her perfected award-winning smile, straightened posture and well, manners. Her elbows are off the table, napkin being pulled onto her lap and she focused on trying not to slurp. Regulus may be her friend, but he was mummy's boy. Druella wouldn't like the idea of housing a heathen if she hears about Libby so much as slouching.

"You know I always rush on the train while everyone is saying their goodbyes, it's kind of awkward just standing around when you've got no one to say goodbye to" Libby set her spoon down beside her bowl, breaking apart her piece of bread. "And train wise I was with Carmondy... as usual. Regulus did you screw your head on right this morning? Six years of doing the same thing and you still don't know?"

"Mum wanted to say goodbye to you, she sees you as the daughter she never had. It upset her that you didn't stop by for a hug" Regulus answers. Libby briefly stiffened, looking over at Regulus with a quirked brow. Walburga most certainly does not view Libby as a daughter, she couldn't, you'd have to have a heart for that. She's never hugged Libby, smiled at her or really shown her an ounce of kindness. It's all been formal nods and greetings, a simple gesture of acknowledgment and then ignoring.

Libby was not her daughter, not even related to her. Sure, her mother and Walburga were friends, but Walburga always made it seem like they were the kind of friends you keep simply out of convenience, as Libby does with most her Slytherin friends.

"Oh... Well, I didn't know she wanted one, tell her I'm sorry in your next letter?" Is all Libby can really answer with. The strange behavior from that family seems to continue. Libby thought she'd seen it all with the Blacks, but alas, she was wrong.

"Will do, you should start sending some of your own to her though, I think she'd like that" Regulus nudged Libby with his shoulder. She tries not to show him how confused she truly is. Libby simply nods, going to continue eating her stew as Regulus and his friends talk about the upcoming Quidditch games.

What would Libby even send her? _Oh hello Mrs. Walburga, it's so nice to talk to you! I just had the funniest conversation with your eldest son Sirius, y'know the one you hate with a burning passion. Oh by the way! I made fun of your niece on the train ride up to Hogwarts, it was great fun._ No, she couldn't send that, Walburga would send her a howler if she mentioned Sirius. Druella wouldn't hesitate to kill her if she knew about the awful things she had said about her dear Bellatrix.

Libby stared down at her half-empty bowl of soup, frowning as she tries to come up with something to write Walburga. It was probably best if she listened to Regulus and starts writing to her. If he says she'd like it she most likely would and Libby doesn't want to spend a summer holiday with Walburga being angry with her. Regulus slung his arm over Libby's shoulder, pulling her close to him and effectively pulling her out of her thoughts. Probably best that he did, Libby tends to overthink things.

"Right?" Regulus asks, bringing his face close to Libby's. She nods, not wanting to admit that she was tuning him out and a smile breaks out on his face. Libby tries to pull away from him, trying to be subtle. Regulus still frowned at the small distance she put between them. He keeps his arm around her and suddenly Libby isn't hungry anymore. Dinner, unfortunately, continues like this, his arm around Libby, her head in the clouds and his two friends laughing about Salazar knows what.


	4. Chapter Three

**_Queen of Nothing_**

 ** _LIBRINA HALLE'S LEAST_** favorite thing is mornings. She despises them with a burning passion, especially early mornings and if she could she'd get rid of them she would. Or better yet, ensure nothing starts before 1 o'clock. But alas, it seems not everyone in the world hates morning's just as much as Librina does because her first class of the day is potions. A subject she had always loved, even if it's early times began to grate on her nerves.

She skipped breakfast, opting for an extra hour of sleep instead. Feeling less sluggish as she walked over to potions with hair perfectly curled and a light touch of blush to her cheeks. If it had the desired effect, hopefully making her less like a ghoul.. Her stomach grumbles and she's already feeling the effects of skipping a meal. Librina wouldn't say she had an appetite, but she also wouldn't say that if she was left alone in a room full of all her favorite foods, that she'd leave that room hours later with nothing but empty plates left inside.

"If you keep scowling like that you'll cause the first years to piss themselves" comes an all to familiar voice from beside Librina. She glances over to Faye Cloven, a five foot something Slytherin girl with black hair with a nasally voice.

"Hello to you too Faye. How was your Christmas with my cousin?" Libby turns a corner, adjusting her hold on her school books. Faye was dating Mistral Parkinson, Libby's first cousin once removed but really, who even kept track of that? Unfortunately for Libby that meant she was related to the pig-nosed Mistral Parkinson, a whiny bastard who would do anything to please his father.

When Libby's grandparents died and her next home was up in the air, the Parkinson family shied away from taking the young girl, coming up with various excuses as to why they couldn't possibly care for another child. Thus, Libby was sent to Walburga's and then Druella's. It was relatively hurtful but Libby couldn't find it in herself to care, the Parkinson family seemed to be the side of the family that everyone is ashamed of.

"Utterly wonderful, I think Mistral is going to propose to me soon, and his mother loves me. I'll definitely be given the family ring!" Faye gushed, jumping up a bit at the thought, Libby simply nodded. "Won't that be great, we'll be related, cousins, or well second cousins. Our kids can play together. I'm sure mine would love to spend summers at your grandparents old manor."

"Aunt Amelie has the manor, your kids won't be able to spend summers there unless you start sucking up to her. Have fun with that, she hates everyone, including her kids" Libby states. Faye frowns, looking up at Librina. Librina wasn't that tall, maybe 5'4 at best, but next to Faye she seemmed like a giant.

"Oh... Well, what do you have then? You must have inherited something, I mean the Halle family is _so_ rich and prestigious."

"My uncles old home and my mother's fortune along with some of grandma's old jewels. Why's it matter though? Your not marrying me" Librina quirks a brow, heading down the stairs that led to the Potions classroom.

Faye laughed, shrugging as she'd seem to look for what to say next. Thankfully, Librina is saved as Regulus walks up beside them, Mistral in tow as he swings an arm over Libby's shoulder. Faye lets out an ear piercing squeal as she'd jump into Mistral's arms, acting as if they totally weren't snogging at breakfast. Regulus steered them away from the couple, fastening their pace.

"You looked like you needed saving" Regulus murmurs, briefly looking down at Librina. Libby chuckled, pushing a flyaway strand of hair away from her face.

"Well thank you, I felt as if Faye was about to rob me blind, thankfully I don't keep my valuables on me" Libby jests. Regulus laughs as they enter the classroom. She waves at Sirius who is giving her a confused look at Regulus' affection and is steered to a table far away from her Gryffindor friends.

"Why are you waving at Sirius?" Regulus asks, dropping his arm from around Librina and taking a seat. Libby follows, setting her books and bag down.

"He's my friend? Why's it matter if I acknowledge Sirius's existence?" Librina sounds confused, she _was_ confused. She gets it, he left and was disowned but why did that suddenly mean she couldn't so much as wave at Sirius?

"Because he's a blood-traitor and he left, he didn't have to leave but he did" Regulus said harshly, his brows were pinched and his tone grew forceful as he looked down at Librina. She felt small beneath his gaze, a feeling Librina did not enjoy.

"We both know it's best he left Reg. Your mother would eat him alive if it came down to it" Librina said the words before she could stop herself, her eyes widening a fraction before she tries to hide the surprise at her own words. She considered herself friends with Regulus, but it's a tip-toeing friendship. She kept her cards close to her chest, revealing only what she knew he would accept.

"Don't talk about mum that way, she was heartbroken, and he did that to her. Couldn't keep his damned mouth shut and find pure people to hang around. I bet they corrupted him the second he sat down at that Gryffindor table."

"Keep your voice down" Librina practically spits out, some of the people in the classroom looking over at their table due to Regulus's rising volume. "I'm sorry I said that about your mum, but those two never got along... And besides Reg, he's still your brother. Why are you suddenly so against the existence of him? You two always got along."

Before Regulus can answer, Slughorn entered and class began. Starting a lesson revolving around Felix Felicis, also known as Liquid Luck and for most of the lesson Libby thinks she has it in the bag, planning out exactly what she'll do with the potion as a table away Snape finishes his batch.

Librina looks over at Severus as Slughorn congratulates him, accidentally pouring too much of an ingredient into the potion, causing a green bloom of smoke to erupt from her cauldron and a ghastly smell to fill the area. Regulus beganto cough, bringing his hand up to cover his nose and mouth, Libby repeated his actions, her other hand still gripping the ingredient as Slughorn glances over at them.

"Seems you added too much, perhaps pay more attention next time Ms. Halle, I'd hate to have to remove you from my Slug Club," Slughorn says, causing a few snickers from some Gryffindor students. Regulus sends them a glare as they both sit down on their stools once more. Librina frowns, looking over at Regulus.

"Do you think he'll really remove me from his club?" Libby inquires, getting to work on making another batch of the potion.

"No, he loves your families fame too much to do that to you. Just promise him a signed copy of your great uncles book and you'll be sure to always stay in that awful club of his" Regulus grumbles.

"Great Uncle Balzac moved back to France, he doesn't talk to this side of the family. He said we were disgracing the family name" Libby informed, stirring the potion in her cauldron.

"If you're so worried about your spot in Slughorn's heart, then maybe you need to focus more in class and dare I say... _study_."

"Studying is for exams and forgetful people. If I wanted to numb my brain with too much knowledge at once then I'd listen to Arthur Weasley talk about muggles, or Druella talk about manners."

Regulus snorts, slouching in his chair as he leans his arms against the table and looks over at Libby. She tried her hardest to focus entirely on her potion. Libby's entire life has been a race of 'who can do it best' and she's always somehow ended up in second. Amongst her crowd second isn't enough, and she knows that in Druella's and her Aunt Amelie's eyes, she's seen as subpar at best. For a moment Libby almost gets lost in her bout of anxiety as Regulus replies.

"I'm just saying if your obsessing over one Potions failure then maybe do something about it instead of pouting."

"I'm not pouting."

"Then what is that thing you're currently doing with your face? Because to me, it looks like pouting."

"I am... heavily thinking, something you obviously aren't well acquainted with," Librina smiles as her potion puffs out a golden like smoke, exactly the color it needs to be. Regulus poked Librina's nose, smiling at her.

"Sure, call overthinking whatever you want too, just don't burden me with your obsessions, yeah?" He tilts his head, his black curls moving as he does such. Librina playfully glares at him, going to roll her eyes at his words.

"Noted."

 _LUNCH WAS EXACTLY_ what Librina needed to forget about her small failure in potions. Or well, if you ask Libby it was rather large, but hardly anyone really cared and it's not like she got detention for it or even removed from her high spot on Slughorns list. Libby piles her plates with all the necessities to survive until dinner, salad, grilled chicken, peas and two bread rolls. Regulus left her to sit with Faye and Mistral at the beginning of her meal, having tried and failed to convince Libby to come along with him. But Libby couldn't sit through a meal where Faye and Mistral acted as if they were the only two people in the world that found love. The sounds of their lips smacking together and her incessant giggles was not a soundtrack to be played over a meal, or any time for that manner.

At this point in time, with all the love declaration's Faye has given you'd think she'd die for him, and Libby hopes for her sake that she won't because she can see stupid Mistral somehow getting himself killed one day. As Librina is stabbing multiple pieces of lettuce onto her fork, Carmondy appears as if out of thin air and plops herself down in front of Libby. She's not supposed to be there, sitting in front of her at the Slytherin table, but Carmondy does it anyways and usually relatively often.

Carmondy begins to pile her own plate high with various foods, having dropped her books and bag on the two spots beside her to keep anyone from sitting next to her and without saying a word to Libby, shoves a forkful of grilled chicken into her mouth.

"How was charms?" Libby asks, going to bring her goblet up to her lips and taking a small sip. She knows some of her nosy peers are watching in bafflement at Carmondy's actions, acting as if she doesn't do this at least once a week.

"Awful, I swear I might just off myself if the curriculum gets any harder" Carmondy says through a mouthful of food. Libby grins, leaning her elbow on the table and setting her chin atop the palm of her hand.

"Well, seems I'll be losing a best friend seeing as we have more than a year left at this school, so it's bound to get much harder" Libby grins. Carmondy groans, her shoulders sagging as she sets her fork down and sighs.

"Whoever invented school was looking for a new way to torture children, and I must say that sadistic bastard should have been punished" Carmondy shovels another forkful of food into her mouth and Libby nods in agreement.

"Tell me again how you got sorted into Ravenclaw?"

"Well, you see, I fucking love learning anything that isn't charms and I'm the biggest bookworm and know it all you'll ever it meet. But for the love of all things, why must I learn charms!?"

"Charms can be very useful in your everyday life Car, I see you use them all the time" Libby spreads butter on her second bread roll as Carmondy continues to eat her meal. The chatter in the hall is the perfect white noise as Carmondy continues to drone on about how much she truly hates charms, her hands flying around in an animated manner as she scrunches her nose up at the mere thought of that class. Librina laughs, having finished her meal a few minutes into Carmondy's speech.

(Carmondy's ramblings are almost always loud and animated, she once smacked a poor Hufflepuff third year in the face as she ranted about how the Daily Prophet needed to find decent writers, because currently, all they have is, in her words 'the worlds saddest excuse of a writing staff, they make true journalists weep in their graves!')

Owl's fly into the great hall, the all too familiar gray owl dropping a letter on Librina's empty plate before flying off once. Splatters of salad dressing and grease stain Libby's once clean white shirt and making it look like someone just flicked a paintbrush of yellowish brown substances onto her chest. Carmondy snorts, having finished her meal as well as she watches Librina pick up the letter from her plate, using her cloth napkin to wipe off the liquid seeping into it.

"I hope you know a spell for that, can't let everyone see Ms. Librina Halle unkempt" Librina throws a bread roll at Carmondy who narrowly dodges it. Carmondy sticks her tongue out and Libby copies her as she'd read the back of the envelope, reading the familiar cursive writing. Libby shoves it into an inner pocket in her robe, going to pull her wand out of that same pocket. Carmondy was right, no one could see her unkempt, it would ruin Librina's perfectly thought out image that took her years to build up, and while a stain on a shirt isn't that big of a deal, its a gateway into bigger, messier situations, or at least she thinks so.

Libby utters a spell to clean her shirt, flicking her wand about in the necessary movements taught to her in class. "Guess where I learned that nifty spell? Charms, who woulda thought!"

Carmondy flips Libby off and they both stand up to leave. She doesn't question the letter tucked into Libby's robes, the secrecy behind it is nothing new and quite honestly Libby is thankful she gave up on figuring it out. It's not that she doesn't trust Carmondy, but if someone heard who she was in contact with then Druella would literally kill her, and that's not an exaggeration.

Together the two girl's leave the great hall with linked arms and Libby's head resting on Carmondy's shoulder, neither deciding to speak as they head to their shared transfiguration lesson. Neither paying mind to anyone who might or might not be staring holes into their backs.


	5. Chapter Four

_**The Indifference Club**_

 _ **FEBRUARY WAS AN**_ odd time of the year to Libby. Valentines day was fast approaching and every student in Hogwarts either hated the holiday, crying about being alone, or preparing a grand gift to give to their significant other. There was a small crowd that Libby fit into when it came to Valentines day, and it seemed that the crowd of indifference was smaller than last year. Carmondy had been asked to Hogsmeade by a fellow Ravenclaw of hers, causing Libby to spend the day alone. The two girls usually stole sweets from the kitchens, Carmondy having sweet talked the house elfs into sliding a few slices of cake her way every year and bundled up with a few books by the black lake.

The Slytherin common room was littered with a small handful of students loitering around, all of which having shed their robes for semi casual attire due to it being a Saturday. Regulus, being dressed in ironed black slacks with a green cable knit sweater was in the midst of a hushed conversation involving what Libby had dubbed 'the blind followers' back in second year. It wasn't a very harsh name and she's sure she could come up with something that had a little more punch now but it was too much energy, besides it's not like she voiced said name.

"Are you guys going on some kind of group date?" Libby teased, walking up beside Regulus and bumping her shoulder against his. Regulus chuckled, looking down at Libby with his signature smirk.

"Only if you'll be my plus one" Regulus raised a brow, the other boys surrounding him all looking between the two. Mulciber whistled, cocking his head to the side as his eyes ran up Librina's figure.

"If she says yes then Librina's standards are low, how about you be mine?" He crossed his arms over his chest, flexing to show off his muscular biceps. Libby tilted her head at the two, a breathy laugh escaping her as she'd furrowed her brows. Playful flirting was hardly a usual occurrence between anyone and Libby. She was a strictly off limits kind of person, having put up the flashing warning lights herself as to keep any unwanted attention away from herself. Romance was hardly a necessity in Libby's eyes.

"Uhh, i'm gonna have to reject both of you, besides Mulciber i'm not all into guys who go around terrorizing girls for their own enjoyment" Librina smirked,referring to Mulciber and Avery's most recent idea that that had ended up with Mary Macdonald writhing in pain on the sixth year girls bathroom floor. How they got out of it was beyond Libby, but she has had ideas on how they pulled it off and it had to do with a sickly looking no good Slytherin boy.

"Oh c'mon, it was hilarious! Everyone got a good laugh out of it" Mulciber knocks shoulders with Avery who laughs at the fond memories. Regulus looked down at Libby, quirking a brow at her opinion.

"She's a blood-traitor Libby" He murmurs to her so the others can't hear. Librina bites her lip, looking up at him with that same look of indifference she wore everyday. What happened with Mary was nothing short of horrifying and it was the first night that Libby felt true disgust and terror within her own house. Was this what Slytherin's were becoming? Sure said house was always more obsessed with blood purity than the others but they had damn good qualities and people in them. Not all were bad, but as time wore on Libby was saying that less and less.

"Your right" Libby felt disgusting for saying such, "but they did it so publically. Dumbledore almost expelled them and it gave the house an even worse reputation."

"Damn our reputation, it's already in the gutter due to all the bullshit those bloody Gryffindor's spew about us." _All the things Sirius says_ Libby want's to say, but decides it's best not to bring up his estranged brother, especially in front of Regulus's cronies. Libby pats Regulus's arm, stepping back from the group.

"Well I'm off to swipe some cake for myself, bye everyone!" Libby steps away, waving. Everyone waved, mumbling goodbyes as they continue to talk. The chilly halls of Hogwarts had Librina mentally patting herself on her back for wrapping herself up in a thick green woolen sweater on top of her black knee length dress. Druella had heard of women opting for pants instead of dresses or skirts and nearly fainted at the thought, acting as if it wasn't 1977. To say the least she made sure to comb through Libby's clothes to make sure she didn't own any, that had been an eventful morning.

The kitchens were bustling with hard working house elf's who scurried around preparing for lunch, breakfast had ended an hour ago and of course Libby had skipped such to gain a few extra winks. Without Carmondy to help keep up traditions she could sleep in until the afternoon to say to hell with their tradition but it felt wrong to stop it simply because Carmondy wasn't with her.

What's a tradition if it's not enforced regardless of dates or other engagements? Libby was happy for Carmondy, she had been ranting on about some pretty Ravenclaw girl who had recently caught her eye and it was such a reprieve not to have her rambling about how _beautiful_ her blue eyes were. It was honestly a bit nauseating.

"Morning" Libby says, stopping the first house elf she can lay her eyes on. He's small but looks to be far healthier than Druella's house elf's and for that Libby lets out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Sure Dumbledore had a decent reputation besides a few remarks from the many elitists that took up place in the Ministry but Libby had it in her head that every house elf owner mistreated them. It was all she ever saw besides her uncle, but he was a special case in many ways. He was like her, acting for an audience filled with vultures and snakes, Libby only hoped she didn't end up like her dear uncle.

"What can Lilbe do for Miss?" the house elf looked up at Librina. Libby smiles, biting the inside of her cheek as she'd notice the row of cakes on a table against a wall. She'd point to the chocolate cake with cherries lining the outer part of it.

"Could I have a slice of the chocolate cake?" Lilbe looks over at the cake, the chocolate delight now being magically sliced with a floating knife, instead of one simple piece she cuts two for Librina and a plate floats over, the slices gliding onto it. Libby happily takes said plate, beaming down at the house elf. "Thank you so much, Lilbe!"

"Lilbe is happy to help" Lilbe scurried off to continue working on lunch as Librina happily skips out of the kitchen with extra care as to not drop her precious cake. The walk to the black lake is long and chilly, the wind whips at Libby's face and causes her hair to fly out of its place that she had spent a good thirty minutes perfecting that morning. But she doesn't care, today is about sticking to traditions, eating cake, reading by the lake and maybe even writing a few essays that are due next week.

The squelching of mud being smushed from under her boots fills her ears as she sets her gaze on the black lake, shouldering her bag she picks up the pace, ready to chow down on some cake for breakfast. The black lake is, as every year, empty of any students. The calming sound of the trees rustling and birds chirping overlaps the squelching and it makes Libby relax. Soon she is at her one of her favorite spots, a spot her and Carmondy deemed as theirs years ago and Libby drops her bag, using one hand to hold her beloved cake slices and another to pull out a small blanket to set down by a tree before sliding down against it and nuzzling into her cozy spot, her legs curling underneath her.

Libby set the plate on her lap, going to out her school books, quill, ink pot and papers from her bag. She pushed her short hair behind her ears, letting out a sigh as she grabbed a large, smooth leatherback tome to use as a flat surface to write her letter on. Regulus's suggestion about writing to Walburga hadn't left her mind since he had said it and as time grew on she was sure Walburga's patience was wearing thin.

But alas every time she had sat down to write something it all felt to informal or to formal, there were times when Libby would begin writing up a letter to her and come up short. What does she talk to her about? In Walburga's eyes Libby's days were most likely uneventful seeing as she didn't spend them bullying muggle borns like the _blind followers_ did or practicing her posture by putting a book on her head. Libby had brainstormed the night before, having come up with an itemized list of everything she could talk to Walburga about, and fuck was that list incredibly short.

 _Dear Walburga,_

 _Regulus had given me the great idea to start a correspondence between us. I thought seeing as I am good friends with your son and have been taken in by your family that it was only right for us to talk more often. Please respond whenever you can, I look forward to any future discussions these letters give us._

 _Sincerely, Librina Halle._

That would do. For now at least. She couldn't seem to enthusiastic about it nor dreadful about the idea. So she'd settle for formal and short, to the point and nothing less. Her itemized list had been of zero help the night before, having consisted of only _muggleborns_ and how much Walburga hated them, of how much Libby pretended to hate them.

"Shouldn't you be inside, keeping warm?" an all to familiar voice says, pulling Libby out of her thoughts. Libby looks up from her letter, seeing scuffed brown leather shoes, black slacks and a Gryffindor sweater. Remus's sandy hair is a bit disheveled, the wind blowing it out of its place and tingeing his cheeks a slight pink. Libby folds her letter, sliding it into a safe pocket into her back as to keep it from crumpling as she smiles at the marauder.

"Shouldn't you be off wreaking havoc with your four horsemen?" Libby says, her tone playful as she tilts her head. Remus chuckles, stuff his hands into the pockets of his slacks.

"Well one is off on a Valentines date while the other pines over a girl and Peter is off… doing Merlin knows what" Remus shrugs, gesturing to Libby's blanket. "Can I sit?"

"Yeah, of course. Have a seat" Librina smiles, leaning over to grab a few of her books and move them out of his way, clearing out a spot for him across from her. He sits down, criss-crossing his legs as Libby stacks her books beside her from largest to smallest. She was a bit of an organized mess. Her room could be seen as the inside of a tidy tornado, books placed according to color in her bookshelf or shoes shoved into a corner by her bed. Her whole life was a bit like that and she's spent quite a bit of time trying to get rid of the _mess_ aspect of it, but after a few days of trying to solely be clean and organized she gets stressed and says ' _fuck it'_ .

"So, what brings you over here?" Libby asks, going to pick up her untouched plate of chocolate cake and taking a bite from one slice. Remus eyes it before looking into her eyes, sighing.

"The library is currently filled with students snogging each other and the Gryffindor common room is filled with whining first years upset about not getting to go to Hogsmeade… So I thought I'd go on a walk to clear my head." Libby scrunches her nose up at the idea of seeing a snogfest occur in the library, completely understanding Remus's need to get away from both places.

"Well, your welcome to stay as long as you like, I even have chocolate cake I'm willing to share."

"Chocolate cake? Well I think I'll never be able to leave your side if you come with chocolate cake."

"Think of it as an apology for all the chocolate I steal from you" Libby smirks, scooting closer to Remus and handing him her fork. He happily digs into the untouched slice, going to take a bite. Remus groans, closing his eyes as he passes her the fork once more, his facial expression has Libby laughing. "You look like you need to be left alone with this cake."

"I definitely need to be left alone with this cake, I'd marry it but I wouldn't make it halfway through the ceremony without eating all of it" Remus smiles, laughing along with Libby as she shovels a forkful into her mouth.

"How scandalous."

"Where did you even get this? They don't serve desserts like these until dinner."

"Have ya ever thought about just going to the kitchens and asking?" Libby passes him the fork once more, scooting close enough that she can set the plate on both of their knees.

"Have I thought of going to the kitchens" Remus playfully scoffs, before sheepishly shaking his head. "No I have not thought of that."

"Well now you have" Librina chuckles, looking out the lake as she sighs. "So why aren't you out in Hogsmeade with a date? Its Valentines day after all."

"I didn't feel like it?" Remus looks over at Libby who gives a ' _don't bullshit me_ ' look and he sighs. "It's kind of true, I mean I spend every year not going on dates during Valentines day, why ask out a girl simply to not be alone today? It seems superficial and as if your using that person to help feel less lonely."

Librina tilts her head, fork in hand as she thinks on Remus's words. She nods, going to bring the utensil to her lips and happily eat the scrumptious cake. Romance was dead to Libby, it was unnecessary and quite honestly, terrifyingly foreign. Love and romance were two things that Librina was not raised around nor saw a healthy concept of. Her uncle was single, her aunt Amelie quite literally tried to burn down her old house because her husband cheated on her and her grandparents _maybe_ tolerated each other. The Black's were a whole other can of worms but they hadn't helped shape Librina's concept on love at all.

Her Uncle Theodore had admitted when Libby was five that her mother had found out about her pregnancy after her father had left the picture as well. Libby wasn't even conceived from a marriage or what seems to be a loving relationship.

"You aren't wrong, fuck I don't even know if I believe in love" Libby lets out a breathy chuckle, shrugging as she'd look down at the cake. Carmondy always called Libby a pessimist when Librina talked about her views on love, Librina called herself realistic. It was an ongoing debate between the two.

"You don't?"

"I mean what is love? Like _really_ what is it? Because all I've seen so far is mild tolerance for a person or outright obsession. If that's love then I don't fucking want it."

"I dunno, I think love is real. I look at my parents and I see love between them, or Marlene and Dorca. Not everyone who claims to be in love is actually in love and not everyone who is married are in love" Remus sighs, his cheeks tingeing an even brighter pink but Libby continues to look everywhere that's not him, shrugging at his words.

"But what is it?" Libby murmurs, finally tearing her gaze from the lake to look up at him.

"It's…. I think it's different for everyone. But for the most part it's wanting to see that person be happy. It's feeling light and warm around them, wanting to protect them… Wanting to be the reason they laugh or smile." Remus clears his throat, looking over at the lake before shoveling a forkful of the cake into his mouth. Libby stays quiet, furrowing her brows in thought.

"You sound like you know from experience" Librina tries to tease him, wanting to lighten the mood and keep them from talking about _deep_ subjects. "Got yourself a pretty girl your hiding?"

Remus scoffs, handing her the fork. He looks around the perimeter of the lake, the wind whips the rest of hair out of its combed place and Libby tries not to think to hard on how nice he looks with the afternoon light hitting him _just_ right. She sets the fork down, deciding to take a break from the chocolate delight.

"I don't" Remus says, keeping his gaze locked on the water in front of him. "Just seems like it, y'know from how my parents are with each other." Librina nods, going to poke his arm, ripping his gaze away from the lake. He looks down at Libby, a small smile working its way onto his face. Libby smiles back, tilting her head in the direction of the stack of books.

"Wanna read for a bit? It's what Carmondy and i always do together every Valentines day but she's off on some date this year." And Remus nods, leaning over to pluck a book on defense against the darks arts as Libby takes one on potions, situating herself against her tree once more. The only sound around them being from the rustling leaves of the trees and the chirping birds flying around above them. Libby doesn't seem to mind not having Carmondy reading with her in the end, instead she got to read with Remus who seems to be great company.


End file.
